Louis Cat
“Bonjour internet obsessed humans, Louis Cat here!”
“As you may now I am Studio Assistant to Lyn Stone, who named me Louis Cat. Personally I think it should have been King Cat Louis XIV, after my name sake. But I am, sadly, humble Louis Cat, so there you are.”
“Let me begin – cough – sorry hairball…”
“I am eleven months and 48 weeks old and as you can see, very handsome. I’m going for a Vogue-meets-Cats-Weekly look in my photo. I am a fabulous Studio Assistant and between you and me, can draw and paint SO MUCH better than Lyn, but don’t tell her, please. My many responsibilities are very important indeed and include, checking the warmth and comfort of drawing paper (preferably while Lyn is attempting to paint) and that the studio is sufficiently warm. I have to inspect all artwork created and have a unique bottom-wiggle-sitting-gage for such vetting. I am also very good at guarding the studio from cat invasion, but tend to use the poop-panic-ninja-move a lot rather than the slash-claw technique. And my scaredy cat, squeaking, yowl is second to none. Once pooped, I generously distribute it in my maid-servant Lyn’s home, but for some reason it isn’t appreciated and the maid-servant makes odd, loud, screechy, noises, which I find very irritating.” You can’t get the staff these days (old one but a good one).
“Having mentioned my maid-servant, I feel I need to say a little more about my human, Lyn at this point. As well as feeding me all sorts of yummy treats and being easily manipulated into doing my bidding, she is not bad at drawing either. I particular enjoy her drawings and paintings of animals, which is definitely her particular speciality. Although she is quite happy to illustrate other house servants, like herself too. My only criticism is that she does not cat-nap enough or wash her ears, in fact her ears are rather boring and far too small.”
“E-meow me here, if you’d like to talk to Lyn.”
